


Nightmares

by supercaptainmorgan



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-20 00:40:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8230256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supercaptainmorgan/pseuds/supercaptainmorgan
Summary: It was always the same. 
Tony would always find himself standing alone on a dusty landscape in the middle of infinite space. Then he turns, eyes searching for the familiar sight from so many nightmares. There his friends lay, dead, strewn about on the rocky ground of space rock with a chitauri worm slinking in the expanse of space. 
They’re dead because of me. I killed them. It’s my fault.
(Tony has a nightmare, or technically has been having nightmares, and Steve decides to help him out.)





	

             It was always the same.

             Tony would always find himself standing alone on a dusty landscape in the middle of infinite space. Then he turns, eyes searching for the familiar sight from so many nightmares. There his friends lay, dead, strewn about on the rocky ground of space rock with a chitauri worm slinking in the expanse of space. His chest tightens at the sight. _It’s your fault_. Gaze falling on each of his teammates, his friends, his lover. It broke his heart to see; Hulk twitching from the pain of the spears; Natasha’s eyes open and expressionless; Clint slumped over with a bow and a waiting arrow in his unmoving hands; a motionless Thor with Mjolnir just out of reach. Then Steve… Steve, bloodstained and looking like death itself, laid beside a broken shield. _It’s your fault_. Tony moved forward on shaky legs, dropping down beside Steve. It couldn’t be true. He moved his hand down searching for a pulse. Steve moved suddenly, grabbing Tony’s arm and looked at him dead in the eye with a pained expression. “You… could’ve… saved… us,” He stutters out before he goes limp and death takes over him. Tony’s head is pounding. _It’s my fault_. _They’re dead because of me_. A roar makes him look up. He can see a portal open and a Chitauri armada making its way to Earth. _They’re dead because of me. I killed them. It’s my fault._

             Tony woke with a start. Eyes wide and frantic. Looking around he calmed a fraction, noticing the familiar furniture that made up his and Steve’s room. Steve. His dream popped up in his mind, Steve, bloodstained and looking like death itself, laid beside a broken shield. He had to be sure. He needed to be sure. With his heart in his throat, Tony looked to his right, there he sees a super soldier with tousled blond hair. A sigh escapes him and just seeing him, seeing the rise and fall of Steve’s chest is enough to dispel the unwelcome feeling.

             He lays there gazing at how peaceful his slumbering boyfriend looked. At some point during the night, Steve had extended his arm out for Tony to use as a make shift pillow while the other lazily draped over his middle. Tony lifted a hand and gently grazed it across Steve’s jaw. He felt content, happy, cuddled up to his lover. His eyes grew heavier as he became lost in his partner’s soft snores and soft embrace.

_They’re dead because of me._ He was alert again. Eyes wide, searching. Heart picking up speed.

_I killed them._ The dream. No. Nightmare.

_It’s my fault._ He needed to leave the room. He needed to distract himself. His heart rate quickened. He was going to have a panic attack.

             Quickly and carefully he slipped his way out of bed without waking Steve up. Tony grabbed a pair of sweatpants from a nearby chair and hurried for his workshop. “Friday? You up and ready to do some work with me?” he says upon entering the open area. Screens come to life, ready for Tony to use.

             “Yes boss,” The AI responded sweetly. “But, are you sure you don’t want to wait till a better hour to start a project? It’s only three o’clock in the morning,” concern lacing her voice. Tony was half listening, his mind was running a mile a minute. Absent mindedly he picked up a pair of wireless earphones and put them in. Music began to play, drowning out any background noise. “Boss this isn’t healthy for you.” Friday’s voice cut through the music over the earpieces, Getting only a few hours of sleep here and there doesn’t cut it.”

             “I’m fine, Friday”. His hand coming up and making a curt, dismissive gesture.

             “Should I notify Captain Rog-?”

             “I’m fine,” Tony says more sternly, interrupting her.

             “Alright. What are we starting with today boss?”

 

             Steve stirred in his sleep, unconsciously reaching out for Tony’s body only to find cold and scrunched up sheets. His eyes opened, fully expecting to see his dark haired boyfriend beside him. But, all he saw was an empty space and a clear view of an alarm clock on the nightstand, it read ‘4:06’. “Tony?” His voice was rough with sleep. When no one answered he sat up surveying the room. Nothing look out of place, except for a few Tony’s pants and shirts. He glanced to the bathroom, feeling a little panicked, and saw no light on. _The hell? Where is he?_ Getting out of bed he grabbed a tank top and left his bedroom in search of a missing Tony.

             He made his way around the complex, checking the kitchen, living room, gym and multi-purpose room on his way to the most obvious place he would find his boyfriend. Steve stepped up to the sliding doors of the workshop, fully expecting them to open up. Instead they remain closed. From his position he can clearly see lights on through the doors windows. “Friday?”

             “Hello Captain, what can I do for you at this hour?”

             “I’m looking for Tony. I need to speak with him.”

             While he spoke Friday opened the doors for him, “Go right on in. Hopefully you can talk some sense into him.”

             Moving forward, Steve could see his partner hunched over his desk, tools in hand. He spoke softly so, not to scare him, “Tony?”

             “Boss Captain Rogers has entered the workshop to see you,” Friday relayed to Tony over his earphones and over the speakers so Steve would be able to listen.

             “Ya-ya, thanks Friday” he said flippantly.

             Thinking Tony was fully of his surrounding, Steve grabbed his shoulder, “Tony, what are-?”

             With the sudden and startling action, Tony jerks in his seat and cuts himself on his hand. “Ah! Shit! Mother of Fuc- grr!” he curses, grabbing his injured hand with the other, trying to stop the bleeding.

             “Oh shit Tony!” Acting fast Steve grabs a med kit from one of the bottom drawers. “Shit sorry about that.” He says, wrapping Tony’s injured hand with a bandage. Looking up at his boyfriend tugged at his heart in pain. Tony’s face was pale and sweaty from exhaustion and there were dark rings below his eyes.

             “Hey Steve, it’s fine, I was- I was just- a little startled. I didn’t need to react like that. Ya sorry- ‘bout this.”

             Once finishing up the bandage he asked, “Tony how long have you been down here?”

             “Uhm… not long.”

             “An hour and eleven minutes.” Friday interjected.

             “What’s wrong?”

             Tony sighed, “I can’t sleep”

             “Was it a nightmare? Are you having nightmares again?”

             “I-I-I” he sighs “It’s just me Steve. It’s not that important.” he began to turn away but Steve’s hand on his shoulder stopped him. He half-heartedly tried to push it away. “You should probably get to bed, you don’t need to worry over me, it’s not that important.”

             Steve’s face lined with worry. Turning Tony back towards him, he looked him straight on and said, “Tony if you aren’t sleeping it is something I need to worry about.”

             “No you don’t, its fine.”

             “Tony-”

             “Steve-”

             “Tony it is something I need to worry about. It’s affecting you. I don’t like how-”

             “What Steve?” Tony cut him off hotly. His voice thick with sadness and annoyance. “That I have nightmares that plague me? That I’m back in Afghanistan fighting for my life? Being tortured? That I dream of the world being lost? Of my friends dying over and over again? Seeing you die…? I need to keep you all safe. I need to keep you safe, because you’re important, you’re important to the world, you’re important to me. You’re so important to me Steve.” His hand moved up, covering his face in an attempt to shield the twin streams of tears and as a last defense to restrain his cries. “It scares me. I don’t want to lose you.”

             Steve steps closer and moves Tony’s hand away from his face all the while wiping his tears away. He takes Tony’s hands in his, gripping them reassuringly and firmly. “Tony-” he starts but Tony wasn’t paying attention, his mind running a mile a minute.

             He looks down at their joined hands and all he can think is _Oh God_. Steve’s hands were dark with blood, too much to come from his injured hand. He jerked back and looked at his boyfriends face. His eyes were wide and scared, eyebrows joining together in concern and a frown ebbing on his lips. A vision passed before his eyes, dead eyes staring back at him and blood trailing out the side of Steve’s mouth. He turned away at the sight. _Oh God. It’s my fault._

             Tony moved further into the lab, picking up tools to distract him from his thoughts while his boyfriend trailed behind him, trying to get his attention. “Tony,”

_You’ll… kill… everyone._

            “Shut up!” Tony yells out. One moment he had a wrench in his hand, the next he was whipping the tool at a wall, several feet from Steve.

            Realisation of his outburst over took him. He looked at his partner dead on and saw fear clearly written on his face. It made his heart ache. The pair would sometimes scream at the other during an argument but never would they do something to harm. It was no wonder why Steve was concerned.

            Keeping his gaze on him, Tony backed up ‘till his legs hit a table, harboring tools and instruments, then sank to the floor, hand hovering over his mouth in horror. “I’m- I’m sorry,” he curled in on himself, legs drawn up, eyes shut tightly and hands weaving through his dark hair and pulling. “Shit! I’m sorry”

            Steve sits down beside him, drawing him into his side. Tony silently sobs into his chest, eyes streaming with tears and breath held to try and keep his breathing under control. Eventually Tony stopped and looked around the lab thoughtfully. His hand slipped into Steve’s and he looked down at it, his thumb smoothing the back of his partner’s hand. It was the normal pale flesh instead of the dark crimson he saw before.

             “It’s ok, it’s ok”

             “It’s not, it’s not Steve. I’m tired of…” he waves a hand around, “this. This is the shits. It messes with my sleep schedule but hey, I can get good tech out of my insomnia, like the mark forty five or some of Barton’s arrows,” Tony was rambling, avoiding the conversation, but Steve wouldn’t stop him, he was calming down, breathing returning and tears had stopped. They continued on like this, Tony pointing out objects in the lab giving either a brief or long explanation of it and Steve silently listening and holding his partner close.

             Eventually he grew silent, starring off into space. “I don’t like the dreams, the nightmares or the premonitions, whatever you want to call it.” Tony whispered suddenly. “They’ve been getting worse too. I just don’t know what to do about them.”

             “I have them too sometimes. Not as much anymore, but they swing by.”

             Tony looked at his partner out of the corner of his eyes, head tilting in Steve’s direction, “You didn’t-”

             Steve gave a little hand squeeze. “I should have told you. I need to. They’re usually about me going under again. The cold, the water, a voice. Sometimes it’s Peggy’s… and sometimes it’s yours.”    

            “I’m guessing your plan was if you would share than I would.”

            He smiled sheepishly, “A little bit, but I’m sitting here asking you to open up a bout something when I haven’t even done that.”

            Tony huffs, and a sliver of a smile shows on his face. “Well aren’t we a pair.” Steve chuckles at that. They sat there in silence for a while, enjoying the comfort the other emitted. Suddenly Tony stood up, hand still clasped with Steve’s. “Come on, soldier”

            He rose from the floor, standing close to his lover, “Where are we going?”

            “We’re going back to bed” his replied, tugging him towards the door. “And maybe when we get there we can … talk.” His voice was a little shaky, like he wasn’t sure if even the thought of sharing these haunting thoughts wold be inappropriate or at the very worst, a mistake.

            The blonde squeezed their joined hands in reassurance, “Of course we can.”

            And that’s what they did. The pair returned to their room, got comfortable under the covers and shared the haunting thoughts that followed them into their dreams and sometimes during the day. Tony felt unsure with revealing this part of himself but, once he looked into Steve’s bright blue eyes and the unwavering reassurance and love it all spilled out. Tears began to brim their eyes and they held the other close, arms wrapped around torsos and legs tangled together. Steve would kiss Tony on the forehead and lightly run his fingers up and down his spine when Tony’s voice became shaky, comforting him. Steve revealed that at times he would feel cold when he’d wake up, like he was dunked in ice. At that the brunette snuggled closer. Eventually they both fell asleep, feeling lighter than they had before.


End file.
